--- title: "RSVP reminder messages that get a reply" description: "When to chase guests who haven't replied, what to say, and twelve RSVP reminder messages you can copy into WhatsApp, for friends, family elders and guests invited to only part of the day." url: https://ourguestlist.co.uk/guides/rsvp-reminder-messages site: Our Guest List --- # RSVP reminder messages that get a reply _Updated 2026-10-30_ **The short answer.** Send one friendly reminder two or three days after your reply-by date, or about two weeks after the invitation if you didn't set one. Use the guest's name, keep it to two sentences, make it about wanting them there rather than about the caterer, and make answering a single tap. After that, pick up the phone. ## When should you chase an RSVP? Give people the time you asked them for. Chasing before the reply-by date tells guests the date didn't mean much, and the ones who were going to answer on time feel nagged. - **With a reply-by date:** send the reminder two or three days after it passes. - **Without one:** wait about two weeks after the invitation went out. - **The final call:** a week before your caterer needs numbers, phone anyone still silent. Only chase the people who haven't answered anything. If one person in a household has replied, the invitation clearly arrived; ask them about the others instead. ## What makes a guest reply Most people who haven't replied aren't refusing. They opened it on the bus, meant to answer later, and forgot. A good reminder removes every reason to put it off again. 1. **Their name, from you.** A personal message from your own number gets read. A notice in a group chat gets scrolled past. 2. **Short.** Two sentences. They already have the invitation. 3. **Warm, not guilty.** "We'd love to know if you can make it" works better than "We still haven't heard from you". 4. **A date if it matters.** If your caterer needs numbers by a day, say the day. 5. **One tap to answer.** Every step between reading and replying loses people. A link that opens straight onto Yes or No gets the most answers. ## RSVP reminder messages you can copy Change the names, keep the shape. Each one ends with the guest's own link, so they can answer straight away. **The gentle first reminder** > Hi Kemi! Just checking you got our wedding invitation. We'd love to know if you can make it. Reply in one tap: [link] **After the reply-by date** > Hi Kemi, we're finalising numbers this week and didn't want to leave you out. Could you let us know if you can come by Friday? [link] **Friendly, with a reason** > Hi Kemi! Hope you're well. We're sorting seating for the reception and would love to know if you'll be with us. It only takes a second: [link] **For an elder, more formal** > Good evening Uncle Femi. We hope you and Auntie are keeping well. We would be honoured to have you both at our wedding, and we'd be grateful if you could let us know if you can attend. [link] **For one event out of several** > Hi Dami! Quick one: can you make the traditional wedding on Friday? You can say yes to that and still let us know about Saturday later. [link] **For a household** > Hi Ade! Could you let us know who in the family can come? You can answer for everyone on the one link: [link] **Making no as easy as yes** > Hi Jo, no pressure at all if you can't make it, we'd just love to know either way so we can plan. [link] **The final call** > Hi Tom! Sorry to chase. Our caterer needs final numbers on Monday, so if we don't hear by then we'll assume you can't make it this time. We'd love to see you if you can! [link] **For a children's party** > Hi Priya! Just a reminder about Amara's 5th birthday party on Saturday. Let us know if you can come so we have enough party bags. [link] **For a baby shower** > Hi Grace, just checking you saw the invitation to the baby shower. We'd love you to be there if you can. [link] **For a gala or formal dinner** > Dear Mr Okafor, a reminder that replies for the Foundation dinner are due by 1 March. We would be delighted if you could join us. [link] **Chasing dietary needs, not the RSVP** > Hi Leah! You've told us you're coming, thank you. Is there anything you can't eat? You can add it on the same link: [link] ## What not to do - Don't name the people who haven't replied in a family or friends group. It embarrasses them and rarely gets an answer. - Don't send three reminders in a week. One message and then a phone call does more than five messages. - Don't make the guest scroll back for the link. Put it in the reminder. - Don't count silence as a yes. For catering, treat it as a no after your final date, and tell the guest so in your last message. ## How Our Guest List handles reminders On Our Guest List, every guest has their own link, so your list knows exactly who has answered which event, and it keeps to the rules above for you. 1. **It works out who is due one.** Invitations nobody has answered, once your reply-by date has passed, or two weeks after sending if you didn't set one. A guest who has answered some events but not the rest gets a message thanking them and naming what's left. Nobody is chased after the day itself. 2. **It tells you.** We email you when reminders are due, so you don't have to keep checking. 3. **You send them in a few taps.** On the Guests step, the sending button offers the reminders that are due. Press Remind on WhatsApp, send it, and press I sent it. Guests with an email address can be reminded by email, all in one press. 4. **Guests answer in one tap.** The link in a reminder opens straight onto the question, with answers like Yes, all of us and Sorry, none of us can. ## Questions people ask ### How many RSVP reminders should you send? One message, then a phone call. A second written reminder rarely gets more answers than the first, and a call to the last few people is quicker for everyone. ### Is it rude to chase RSVPs? No. Your guests know you have numbers to give a venue and a caterer. A short, warm reminder after the date you asked for is normal and most people are glad of it. ### What if a guest still doesn't reply? Call them, or ask someone close to them. If you still hear nothing by the day your caterer needs numbers, plan without them and let them know, kindly, that you've had to finalise numbers. ### Should I send RSVP reminders by WhatsApp or text? Whichever they use most. For most families that is WhatsApp. If they are on an iPhone and not on WhatsApp, an iMessage with their link works the same way, and an email reaches anyone else. ## Send yours with Our Guest List Each guest gets their own invitation on WhatsApp or iMessage and answers every event separately. [Create your free wedding invitation](https://ourguestlist.co.uk/start). Your first 50 guests are free. No payment details needed. ## More guides - [How to send wedding invitations on WhatsApp](https://ourguestlist.co.uk/guides/send-wedding-invitations-on-whatsapp.md) - [Planning a multi-day wedding: the to-do list and the guest list](https://ourguestlist.co.uk/guides/multi-day-wedding-guest-list.md)