Asian wedding invitations for every function, from mehndi to walima

What functions does an Asian wedding have?

Every family does this differently, and the same function has different names in Punjabi, Gujarati, Urdu and Bengali homes. These are the common shapes.

Some functions are hosted by the bride's family, some by the groom's. A walima, for instance, is usually the groom's family's, and a mehndi may be held by each side separately. That means different hosts, different venues and different guest lists, often over a week or more.

Who gets invited to which function?

The smaller functions are for close family and friends; the wedding and the reception or walima are where the numbers climb into the hundreds. Settle the tiers with both families before anybody is told anything.

• Close family: the dholki, maiyan or haldi, often at home.
• Family and close friends: the mehndi and sangeet.
• The wider list: the wedding day itself, whether a Hindu ceremony, the Anand Karaj or the baraat, limited by the hall, the temple or the gurdwara. A nikah may be part of this day or kept small on a day of its own.
• Everyone: the reception or walima, which each family may count separately.

Keep one shared list of people with the functions ticked against each name, even if each family hosts its own. It is the only way to see that the same cousins are on both sides' lists, and to stop the reception being counted twice.

Households matter more than ever here. Invite "the Patel family" and you need to know whether that is four people or eleven. Name who the invitation is for, or set how many it covers, and let them tell you who is actually coming to each function.

One link instead of a card for every function

The tradition is a printed set: a main card and an insert for each function, delivered by hand or posted to relatives in Lahore, Delhi, Dhaka and Toronto. It is beautiful, and it is also where the confusion starts, when a guest gets the walima insert and not the mehndi one and wonders why.

A personal invitation on WhatsApp does the same job: it lists only the functions that guest is invited to, carries the dates, venues and dress code for each, and takes a reply to each one. Print a few cards for the elders who will want to keep one.

What to put on the invitation for each function

• Who is hosting it. The bride's family, the groom's family, or both. Guests expect to be invited by the right family.
• Date, time and venue, shown only for the functions that guest is invited to.
• What to wear: yellow for the haldi or mayun, bright colours for the mehndi, Indian or Pakistani formal for the wedding. Each function can say its own.
• Food: whether it is vegetarian, halal or both, and a way for guests to tell you about allergies.
• Children and plus-ones, per function, since a sangeet and a walima rarely want the same answer.

How to do it with Our Guest List

1. Add every function. The mehndi, the sangeet, the nikah or wedding, the walima or reception, each with its own date, venue and dress code.
2. Add your guests. Paste each family's list, bring people in from your phone's contacts, or type them. Put each household on one invitation.
3. Choose their functions. Open a guest and press Choose their events. Their invitation shows only the ones you tick.
4. Send on WhatsApp. Each guest gets their own message from your own phone and answers each function on their own link.
5. Read the numbers. Home shows the replies for every function, and the Guests step exports each one's headcount with the dietary notes for the caterer.
6. Check names at the door. Turn on door check-in, and whoever is on the door can see who was invited to which function.

The free plan covers 50 guests and two events. Tailored, a one-off £65, gives you 400 guests, every function you have, and lets both families plan on the same list together. Bespoke, £195, has no guest limit.

Questions people ask

Do you need a separate invitation for the mehndi?

You need a separate reply for it, not a separate card. List the mehndi on the invitations of the guests invited to it, and ask for a yes or no to the mehndi on its own, so its smaller numbers don't get lost in the reception's.

Can the bride's and groom's families send invitations from one list?

Yes. Keep one list of people and tick each person's functions, whichever family is hosting them. Each family can still word its own functions, and nobody is counted twice when both sides know the same people.

Is it acceptable to send Asian wedding invitations on WhatsApp?

Yes, and it is increasingly how families do it, with relatives in the UK and abroad. Send each guest a personal message with their own link rather than one image to a family group, and keep a few printed cards for the elders.

How do I collect numbers for a walima and a mehndi separately?

Ask for a separate reply to each function. Each one then has its own headcount, so the groom's family knows the walima numbers and the bride's family knows the mehndi numbers.