Sikh wedding invitations: the Anand Karaj, the events before it and the reception

What is the Anand Karaj?

Anand Karaj means "blissful union". It is the Sikh wedding ceremony, held in the morning at a gurdwara, in front of the Guru Granth Sahib. The couple walk around it four times while the four laavan, the wedding hymns, are sung. The ceremony usually takes about an hour and ends with Ardas, a prayer, and karah prashad shared with everyone.

It is a religious service rather than a party, so there is no alcohol and no meat at the gurdwara, and guests sit on the floor of the prayer hall. Langar, the free vegetarian meal from the gurdwara's kitchen, follows. The music and dancing happen at the reception, at a different venue.

What are the events of a Sikh wedding, and who goes to each?

Every family does this differently, and plenty skip some or merge two into one evening. These are the common shapes, roughly in order. For the wider South Asian picture, see Asian wedding invitations.

The maiyan and the jaggo are often held separately by each family, at each home, which means two hosts and two guest lists. Keep one shared list of people with each function ticked against each name, so the cousins both sides know are invited once and counted once.

What should Sikh wedding guests know about the gurdwara?

Many guests, especially colleagues and friends who are not Sikh, will not have been to a gurdwara before. Put the essentials on the invitation, under the Anand Karaj, so nobody arrives worried. Check them with your gurdwara first, because some have rules of their own.

• Cover your head. Everyone, men and women. A scarf or bandana is fine, and most gurdwaras keep head coverings at the door.
• Take your shoes off at the entrance, and wash your hands if asked.
• No alcohol or tobacco, and do not arrive having had a drink.
• You will sit on the floor, so wear something you can sit cross-legged in. Do not point your feet towards the Guru Granth Sahib.
• Arrive on time. The milni usually comes first, early in the morning, and the ceremony starts soon after.
• Stay for langar. It is part of the day, and it is polite to accept what is served.
• Phones on silent, and ask before taking photos in the prayer hall.

What to wear to a Sikh wedding

For the Anand Karaj, wear modest clothes that cover your arms and legs and let you sit on the floor: a suit or smart trousers and shirt, a salwar kameez, a lehenga, or a long dress or skirt with a scarf. Many guests avoid bright red, which is often the bride's colour. The reception is usually formal and much more glamorous.

Give each function its own dress code on the invitation: bright colours for the mehndi, comfortable shoes for the jaggo, modest and covered for the gurdwara, black tie or Indian formal for the reception. Guests coming to all four will need four outfits, and they want to know early.

What to put on a Sikh wedding invitation

• Who is inviting. Traditionally the parents of the bride or groom, often opening with Ik Onkar or "With the blessings of Waheguru".
• The gurdwara's name and address, and the time of the milni as well as the ceremony.
• The gurdwara etiquette above, in a few short lines.
• The reception venue and time, shown only to the guests invited to it.
• What to wear to each function, and whether children are welcome at each.
• Parking or transport, since many guests go from the gurdwara to the reception in the same day.

Sikh wedding invitation wording you can copy

When to send Sikh wedding invitations

With functions spread over several days, and family travelling from India, Canada and the US, send save the dates eight to ten months before and the invitations ten to twelve weeks before.

How to do it with Our Guest List

1. Add every function. The maiyan, jaggo, mehndi, Anand Karaj and reception, each with its own date, venue, address and dress code. The Anand Karaj's dress code can carry the essentials: heads covered, shoes off.
2. Add your guests. Paste each family's list, bring people in from your phone's contacts, or type them. Put each household on one invitation.
3. Choose their functions. Open a guest and press Choose their events. Their invitation shows only the ones you tick.
4. Send on WhatsApp. Each guest gets their own message from your own phone and answers each function on their own link.
5. Read the numbers. Home shows the replies for every function, and the Guests step exports each one's headcount with the dietary notes.
6. Check names at the door. Turn on door check-in for the reception, and the door team can see who was invited.

The free plan covers 50 guests and two events. Tailored, a one-off £65, gives you 400 guests, every function you have, and lets both families plan on the same list together. Bespoke, £195, has no guest limit.

Questions people ask

What time does a Sikh wedding start?

The Anand Karaj is held in the morning. The milni usually comes first, and the ceremony follows, taking about an hour, with langar after. Put both times on the invitation, because the milni is easy to miss.

Do non-Sikh guests need to cover their heads at a gurdwara?

Yes. Everyone covers their head in the prayer hall, whatever their faith. A scarf or bandana is fine, and most gurdwaras have coverings at the door for anyone who forgets.

What should I not wear to a Sikh wedding?

Avoid short skirts, shorts and bare shoulders at the gurdwara, and anything hard to sit on the floor in. Many guests also avoid bright red, which is often the bride's colour. Check the invitation for each function's dress code.

Is alcohol served at a Sikh wedding?

Never at the gurdwara, where alcohol and tobacco are not allowed. Many families do serve drinks at the reception, which is held at a separate venue, and some keep the whole day dry.

Do guests at the reception need to go to the gurdwara too?

No. Many couples invite a larger list to the reception than to the Anand Karaj. Give each function its own guest list, so reception-only guests see the reception and nothing else.